Bittersweet

Teagan's birthday is always bittersweet to me. I am so proud to be her mom. She is super sweet, smart, funny, and loving. Yes, she does get in trouble and acts like any other 3-4 year old, but to me, she's perfect! Having adopted her, I always remember the sacrifice and love Randi showed by placing her for adoption and "giving" her to us.  I can still picture her sad, crying face in the back of her moms car as they left the hospital without Teagan. And, I do not know how I can ever express my gratitude to her for giving me the best gift I could ever get.
Another reason it is so bittersweet is because I can remember how tiny Teagan looked in the NICU. She was born at 32 weeks. I was terrified seeing her hooked up to so many things, but I knew she was a fighter as soon as she pulled her first feeding tube out. I knew she got her strength from Randi and we would be going home quicker than they said. And we did. We spent a LONG 2 weeks there, and I didn't leave her side at all. I am thankful that of all my kids it was her in the NICU as I wasn't having to recover from birth and could focus 100% on her.  I know now that God gives you what you can handle and you are given the kids you are meant to raise, whether is be through adoption, birth, or both.  And, having done both, I don't think I could love Teagan any more if she had grown in my belly.