Brennen is 2 months

Brennen Michael is 2 months old (yesterday)! WOW! Where has the time gone? I know that's not too old, but he is changing everyday. His little face and body are filling out. He is awake more during the day and can coo and smile at me and I LOVE it! 

We went to the doctor this morning for his check up. He got 3 shots plus the roto liquid. So far no adverse reactions to the shots, but it's only been an hour.

At 2 months:

You weigh 11lb7oz and are 23inches tall

You still wear a lot of newborn outfits, but I've also put you in a few 0-3mn outfits and a 3 mn sleeper last night

You wear a size 1 diaper.

You still have all your hair and it is still dark brown. I believe your eyes are going to be blue like your sisters. Right now they are a mix of green and blue though.

You love to be held and close to your mommy. It's a little challenging with your sisters, but you love the carrier so you are usually strapped in there next to me.  

You are pretty mellow. You only cry when you're hungry, dirty, or if one of the girls bugs you too much

I am so blessed to be your mommy. I couldn't have made a better boy if I had tried!

Random Picture

This was taken at Emmersyn's party....

These are my "little" nephews! It is crazy to think they are as old as they are. Alex (holding Brennen) is 13 and already 6ft2in. He use to spend a ton of time with me and my mom when my brother was going through a divorce. We had him from the time he was Emmersyn's age and now he's huge!
Zack (in black) is 11. He is a sweet boy. Teagan LOVES him and he would do/play anything with her.
And Cameron is 8. He was born on Sept 11 and also born on the day that Matt proposed to me!

First Birthday Party!

After canceling Emmersyn's birthday party THREE times, we were finally able to have it on Saturday. My mom is still super sick so she was not able to come, but we still had a good party. My 3 nephews, 1 brother, and my inlaws came. My other brother canceled at the last minute due to work, but that just meant more cake for me...I mean Emmersyn! HA

 This is the cake! I thought it turned out very cute.

 Teagan helped Emmersyn open her presents...what a good big sister!!!

 And then, she decided Emmersyn was too slow so she did it herself! HA

 And played with her toys

 Emmersyn had her own smash cake! And smash it she did

The birthday girl with mommy and daddy! I was wanting the picture at the beginning of the party but forgot until after I got her cleaned up after the cake...that's why she's in jammies already!

And the typical Murray family! I had to laugh.  You can actually hear Brennen screaming, see Teagan's attitude, and tell Emmersyn was over it and ready for bed! Gotta love being a family of 5!(and the mess on the floor is Emmy's new castle Matt was putting together...I swear my house was clean!)

What we've been up to

We've been pretty laid back lately. Between having a new baby, the flu being everywhere, and just being freezing outside, we have spent a ton of time at home! Teagan does go to school and dance so we are forced to leave on those days, but we've been cooped up most days.

Here is Teagan before dance class. If you look closely, you can see her braided hair. She thinks I am super cool for knowing how to do that! HA!

And of course being home means lots of cuddle time with the kids! Teagan LOVES to hold Brennen and will usually be snuggled with him if we let her! I love how much she loves her brother, but wish she were just a bit nicer to Emmersyn too!

Pictures

Having trouble posting/uploading pictures on my blog. Until I fix it, I may be a little behind updating!

Lump

So, I found a lump on my poor baby (Emmersyn).  It is a little bigger than a pea and located behind her right ear. It was such a weird spot I knew she didn't hit something there.

Anyways, I took her to the doctor and it turns out she is fine. It is a swollen lympth node and they are just going to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't grow! If it grows, they are wrong and it is a cyst that will need removed. I'm not sure why I freak out sooo much when it comes to lumps, but I do. I know it was a wasted visit, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Last Followup???

For some reason I can't get my picture to upload.

I went to my last OB appointment today! I'm a little sad that I won't get to see Dr. N on a weekly basis anymore.  I think in the past 2 years I've seen her more than I've seen most of my friends and we have bonded, both as patient-doctor and just as women/moms/adoptive parents. 
Everything looks good at my end. I'm smaller than I was before getting preggo with Brennen and possibly before Emmersyn, but I'll have to look at my charts later. And although I'd like to say I MAY want more babies later in life (like after one of mine is out of diapers), Iwent ahead and got the implanon implant done today. It's a rod that is inserted under the skin of my right arm.  It didn't hurt going in, but I'm still numb so I'm not sure how it'll feel after the meds wear off.  It is good for 3 years and I won't have to think about taking anything or doing anything special.  I was limited to what I could take/be on in terms of birth control with my heart and blood pressure. This was the best choice for me and I"m hoping I don't have any adverse side effects.  However, it is easily removed IN CASE Matt loses his mind with me and agrees to have more (don't hold your breath though).

Happy

Ok, so I've been on my happy pills for a week now. Am I pooping rainbows yet? Ummm, no. Am I able to talk without the constant flow of tears welling up? Yes. Am I able to enjoy my kids again? Yes. I think it's a win. I am having some massive side effects that I will have to talk to my doctor about tomorrow, but I can deal.  It's funny that no one in my "real" world even know anything is wrong. I think they just thought I snapped out of my hormones, or maybe they didn't even notice. Who knows. I don't think people usually know what goes on behind closed doors anyways and honestly, I'm happy with that. I don't like being the center of attention or having people worry about me so with the exception of my blog world readers, I'm still "normal". HA. Ok, as normal as I ever was!

2013

It's a new year and I'm starting it the same as I started last year...with a new baby at home and very little sleep.  This year my goal will be to NOT have another baby at the end of it. I LOVE babies, but IF I have more, it'll be spaced a little further apart. 

I had good intentions of staying up til midnight, but we put the girls to bed at normal time (they don't understand the concept yet and I didn't want them off schedule since they had been sick) and then Brennen was asleep so I cashed in on having all 3 in bed at the same time. I think Matt stayed up, but I was sound asleep at 11:30...at least for a short while. The joys of babies!

No party. No favors. Just us hanging out. I think Matt and I caught up on some of the shows we like on the DVR that we hadn't watched since Brennen came home.  We ate some ice cream. Probably some other food too, but I honestly don't remember what. New Year's really isn't a big holiday we celebrate. Even in our younger, dating days I think we only went out one or two years (been together 12 now). 

I made some resolutions or what I call "goals". I'm gonna run a 5k, eat healthy, stop cussing, and no more diet coke...ok, back to reality! Those will probably NEVER happen.  I'm going to try to be slightly healthier. I would like to lose some weight, but I'm not going to stress about a number.  I would like to be more engaged with my family and have a wireless night where all the electronics get turned off once a week, or even a month.  I'd like to save more money, which if I don't have another baby this year will save a ton vs the last 2 years. And I'd like to take more time for just me other than my drive to and from work.

What are your goals?

Year End

To say the Murray's had a busy year would be an understatement. It has been a year full of surprises, fun, a few tears, and most of all love. I wouldn't change anything that has happened, except a few trips to the ER. 

 

 

Jan:

Brought Emmersyn home from the hospital at 4days!

Feb

 Emmersyn's baptism at St. Paul's

March

 Teagan turned 3 complete with a party at Chuck E Cheese

 

June





 Emmersyn's first trip to the ER. Diagnosed with Rotovirus


August

 Teagan starts Preschool (at St. Paul's)

 and dance (at Dancing Dreams Academy)


Sept

Teagan became a cowgirl and went on her first ever ferris wheel ride

 

OCT

 

 Teagan's first ER visit to Clark and hospital stay at Kosair for 3 days. Diagnoised with asthma.

 First family of 4 Halloween fun!
*also, Emmersyn started walking

Nov

 Emmersyn's first surgery (at Kosair Brownsboro) Dermoid cyst removed

Welcomed Brennen Michael (Nov 27)

 DEC

 Teagan's first school Christmas program

Built our first snowman

 

Celebrated Christmas as a family of 5

 

Emmersyn turned 1



Hope you had an eventful year as well! Here's hoping 2013 is a little less eventful here though!

Brennen's announcement

Between Christmas cards, Emmersyn's birthday party invites, and now Brennen's birth announcement, I feel like I am always making and mailing things! I think I'll just buy a bulk mailer machine for my house.

 

Because we have so many different friends and I didn't want to order a million of the birth announcements, I just go enough for family. I know a few friends are "keepers" and some aren't and would just look and toss them anyways so I didn't think people would care to get them in the mail vs seeing it here.

 

Here is the announcement! A little later sending them out than I had planned, but that's what happens when you have a baby around the holidays I guess. Or it could be because he's #3. Whichever.

pity party-table for 1

**caution, serious post ahead**

I've been having a bit of a rough patch lately.  I've never been one to ask for help, or actually need help to be honest, and I'm a bit of a do it yourself type of gal. I didn't find it too hard to bounce back into the swing of things after Emmersyn was born although it was a bit more time consuming having 2 kids to remember snacks, bottles, cups, food, etc for whenever we left the house. Having 2 wasn't that big of a transition for me. 
When I found out I was pregnant so soon after Emmersyn was born, I didn't think much of it in terms of slowing me down. We found out it was a boy and were excited.  And then I found out there could be a fatal birth defect and that is when my issues started. I was determined to carry forward with the pregnancy either way, but somehow I couldn't plan the future because I thought for sure the worst was going to happen. Combine that with Emmersyn's surgery a month in November and I was a hot mess. I couldn't pick out names for Brennen, didn't buy anything except one outfit (before we knew what he was really), have no room set up or any decorations for him. Yes, I feel bad, but I figured what was the point really if I just got to hold him in the hospital and tell him goodbye.
When he was born, I cried tears of joy and relief on the table when my dr told me he was perfect! (yes, the ultrasounds later showed all brain spots were resolved, but I didn't trust them to be true) I held and kissed him so much and even offered my nipples as sacrafice to make sure he received some breast milk (that was my motive this time for anyone wondering why I choose to pump with #3 and none of the girls) that was suppose to be the best for him, but still couldn't snap out of the funk.
I chalked it up to anxiety, stress of the past 6 monthes, and the inital baby blues.  When you're an adoptive parent, there is a lot more that goes into babies than someone who can just pop them out (which is me now).  I prayed and prayed for years for a baby and I had a ton of mommy guilt asking for help with anything when my prayers were finally answered. I feel like I have to do everything for everyone and be perfect and that is HARD. VERY HARD.  Working full time, staying home during the day, cooking, laundry, playing with kids, being a good mom....rough.
Enter today....I had a 4week postpartum check today. I decided I may need something stronger to help my baby blues go away.  I LOVE my doctor and of course I was talking to her and started crying. And it was the ugly cry that you try to hold in and can't too.  She told me I can't do everything myself. It was ok to have help. Blah, blah..the usual stuff you know to do, but find it hard to do. Long story short, she gave me some meds to help snap me out of my funk of PPD that she suspects has been brewing since Emmersyn's birth since I didn't have much time to heal and get back to 100%.  Here's hoping 2013 is less stressful than 2012 and I can actually get my little boy a room of his own soon!